They'll all fade to grey soon

It was Jimmy’s birthday and it was my understanding that I would be spending the night at his place. The evening began quiet and after many hours other people joined the party, Jimmy’s relatives would visit and I would be enjoying their company. I would watch them smoke and drink at it made me wonder how their lives were influenced by nights like these. Everyday they’re doing something that they do not like though this weekend is a chance to forget about all this. I didn’t want to be like them.

Jimmy later on that night received a call. It was his mother and she didn’t want his friends staying over, she wanted us gone when she came back. I was scared it was late, too late. I couldn’t call my mum because it was around 1:30 am and I knew she would be asleep and she would not be happy picking me up, especially with her son being intoxicated with substances.

So we had to think of a plan, fast. One of his cousins, Dean wanted us to stay at his place he wasn’t far. We thought it would be a good idea so we went. He didn’t live far so it wasn’t big deal really. His home was cluttered, small and quite claustrophobic and you could smell beer just reeking through the walls. I was tired so I slept on the sofa for an hour or so. Two pit bulls and baby crying woke me up. It turns out Dean does have some responsibilities at home. His girlfriend would buy booze for him every weekend and he’d drink the night away, it was and probably still is a common thing. He would rant; he’d stare at me and talk about anything and everything. He may be drunk but he’d still have some intriguing things to say about religion, war and culture. This however did not distract from the fact he has problems, a great deal of them.

Dean is an aggressive drunk. He’d shout and curse at his girlfriend and his girlfriend would rebuttal. We’d try and calm him down while the nonsense would ensue. He warned all of us about this and everyone warned me about this, they discussed his drunken history in a humorous light. I could see in his eyes that he was ashamed of his behavior he mentioned that he wants to get behave better for his children, his girlfriend was carrying another baby at the time.

In the kitchen Jimmy and I shared a urine stained mattress that smelt awful. There was no other choice or anywhere else to sleep. Dean would get so angry and I was frightened, it was hard to sleep when his dogs would lick my face every so often. His child would cry and I watched him console her. I didn’t know what to make of all this I just waited until the morning and thankfully I got there. I picked up my stuff with Jimmy and left.

I smelt like smoke, I showered for a good 40 minutes. Went back home and pretended like nothing happened, because nothing did.

It was hard to see people like that I guess. I wasn’t use to it; I’ve been sheltered for a long time. I felt for Jimmy and his family because there isn’t much going on there. He lives a different life and I respect that, it took me some time to realize that we are in different worlds just not so far apart.

I wish him the best

As for Dean and his family, I wish them better.

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Z.H