Death Of A Salesman

I was enthusiastic and determined. It was my first job; I was hired in September 2012. This also made me very nervous. I didn't want to seem like such a novice even though I was exactly that. Tommy Hilfiger accepted me and I was over the moon. It took me time to actually get a grip of what was going on; I have never had a job and didn't feel as though I was ready for it. I went with it anyway.

In my first three shifts I didn't sell anything and I was depressed. I thought I was going to get fired soon. I made mistakes on my first shift and was embarrassed by them; I could feel all eyes on me.  Even though I was finding it difficult one evening I managed to sell and it was a great feeling, my managers seemed pleased. It was all easy since then.

Throughout my time I made some friends but never had any strong connection with any of them. The more I used to work the more repetitive and uninteresting it became. The job really has no soul; you work for hours, talking, selling and borderline harassing customers. You have to make sure you make $100 an hour to make budget for the store though you get no percentage of it. You’re supposed to work your butt of so you can make these managers happy. The thing that got to me most was when after a long 9 hour shift they read your sales and tell you that you didn't do well at all. This didn't motivate me, it angered me but this happens to everyone and everyone goes through this.

New employees would get hired and when I would talk to them about this job they all said they need to improve on their sales and I would simply ask why. What does it really do for you? Why do you feel so pressured into worrying yourself about what you have sold or not? I just tell them that they should just get to work on time, try your best and be likable. I've only survived for so long because I believe these managers like me. Be conscious about what you’re doing but don’t allow these things to get to you.

People seemed to drift, employees come & go. It’s strange to see people disappear like that. The thought is unsettling. One employee I got to know quite well, she has children, a family to support. Everyone seemed to like her, she worked hard. Long story short there were complications and issues that were not resolved. Instead she was fired and I was there to see her walk out the office and cry.

It’s been a couple of months & no one has mentioned her name, not even once as though she never existed.

The enthusiasm dies you see.

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Z.H